The Lessons I’ve learned from Coaching Kids, and Parenting My Own
As someone who works with kids all day and then goes home to a child of my own, I get this comment a lot:
“That must be exhausting.”
And to be honest — yeah, it can be. But I also think I see things a little differently than the average parent watching from the sidelines. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned from coaching kids, and having one of my own.
Kids Act Differently for Their Coaches — and That’s a Good Thing
One of the first things I realized is that kids tend to behave better for people outside their homes. Coaches, teachers, babysitters — we often see the more “cooperative” version of your child. And I don’t say that as a judgment, but as reassurance. If your kid is giving you a hard time but thriving in class? That means you’ve given them a safe space to let their guard down. You’re doing something right.
On the flip side, when a child does show signs of struggle in class — a bad attitude, lack of focus, or defiance — I’ve learned to look deeper. Behavior is communication. Maybe they’re going through something, maybe they’re undiagnosed, or maybe they’re just learning how to regulate emotions. Either way, I try to meet them with patience and consistency. They don’t need more punishment — they need someone to stay grounded and calm for them.
Boundaries Can Be Loving Too
I’ve also learned that boundaries aren’t harsh — they’re essential. Especially when it comes to the kids who want to hang on you, poke your face, and climb on your back the moment you slow down. I used to feel guilty about saying “not right now,” but now I know that boundaries teach kids self-awareness, timing, and respect for others.
I like to call my style “controlled chaos” — the kind of fun where kids are laughing, playing, and being silly, but still listening and learning. Bouncing off the walls? That’s a no. But joining me in demonstrating a skill or answering questions mid-lesson? Absolutely yes.
One thing I’ve found especially helpful is involving kids in the explanation part of class. If I’m talking through a skill, I’ll ask questions, have them mimic a position, or use their bodies to act out what I’m describing. When their hands (and minds) are busy, their attention lasts so much longer — and they retain more too.
The more involved and empowered kids feel, the less they need to push limits.
What Happens When There’s No Structure? I’m Learning That Too.
We have an event at work once a month — an open gym on Saturdays where kids can run around freely. Think: all fun, no structure. You’d think I’d love it, but I don’t. It’s not controlled chaos — it’s chaotic chaos. The kind that leaves you overstimulated and kind of dreading the next one.
I’ve had to be honest with my boss about how this type of setting affects me. She gave me a few suggestions to make it more manageable and more fun, and while they were helpful, I realized something bigger:
By the end of the week, my kid-energy meter is just low.
I want to save what I’ve got left for my own child.
When there’s no structure, kids go wild — they jump on you, cling to you, hang from your arms. And no, I’m not sitting down letting it happen — we’re not even allowed to sit. They will literally launch onto me while I’m standing. It’s a lot. Especially when your tank is already running on fumes.
So, I’ve been learning to set boundaries in this area too. I’m hoping to shift how I approach these open gym events moving forward — because sometimes protecting your energy is the most loving thing you can do for the kids who matter most.
We’re all still learning, right?
Taking That Energy Home
When I walk through the door after work, I’m not stepping into quiet recovery time — I’m walking into the arms of a little person who’s been waiting all day to see me. That transition is hard, especially when your job is already emotionally and physically demanding.
But perspective helps. My child isn’t trying to drain me — they’re just over the moon that I’m home. They only get one childhood, and I get to be part of shaping how they experience it.
So I take what I’ve learned at work — patience, structure, and playfulness — and bring it home with me. I’m not always perfect at it. I get tired. But I remind myself: my job isn’t to control the chaos; it’s to show them how to navigate it.
Final Thoughts
Whether I’m in the gym or at home, I want to be someone a child feels safe around. That doesn’t mean I let everything slide. It means I lead with love, even when I’m setting limits. It means I try to understand before I correct. And it means I show up — again and again — even when I’m tired.
Because every child, whether they’re in a leotard or pajamas, deserves someone in their corner.
If you enjoyed hearing about my coaching journey and the lessons I’ve learned from coaching kids and parenting my own, I’d love for you to stick around!
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Let’s navigate this beautiful chaos together!
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