How choosing your outfit can support your confidence, your mental health, and your sense of identity.
Most people think of self-care as bubble baths, skincare routines, or taking a quiet minute for yourself. And while those things absolutely matter, self-care also looks like something much simpler: getting dressed in a way that makes you feel good.
For a long time, I didn’t understand how much clothing could impact how I showed up in my daily life. My struggle wasn’t that I didn’t care… it’s that I cared too much. I was so hyper-aware of how I’d be perceived that I focused on what I looked like from the outside instead of how an outfit made me feel on the inside.
It took time, growth, and a lot of unlearning to realize that dressing for myself isn’t about impressing anyone or fitting into a trend. It’s about choosing something that supports my mood, my confidence, and my sense of self.
And maybe you’ve felt that too.
When you put on something that makes you feel like the truest version of yourself, it does something to you. You stand differently. You speak differently. You show up as someone who feels worthy of being seen.
And that is self-care.
Dressing for Yourself Isn’t Superficial — It’s Emotional
How we present ourselves is often the first message we send to the world, but more importantly, it’s the first message we send to ourselves.
When you choose an outfit that reflects who you are, you’re saying:
- I matter.
- My comfort matters.
- My expression matters.
- How I feel in my body matters.
That’s not shallow. That’s identity. That’s self-worth.
Your clothes can either drain your energy or support it.
A Little of My Own Journey
I think a lot of my journey has been about reconnecting with the pieces of myself I used to edit out. In high school, I went through a full emo phase. Dark eyeliner, moody playlists, the whole thing. And honestly? I still love the dark side of style. Emo, punk, goth… all of it has always felt oddly comforting and expressive to me.
Then, in my early twenties, I swung completely in the opposite direction. I started dressing softer, girlier. Little summer dresses, sheer boho tops, florals, patterns, and all the cutesy pieces I could find. And for a while, it fit.
But adulthood has been the place where everything finally comes together. I’ve found a way to mesh all the different versions of me without feeling like I have to choose. I still love my florals and soft colors, but I also love my Dr. Martens. I can lean into nostalgia, nature, true-life feelings, creativity, and still hold onto that little edge I’ve always been drawn to. It’s all part of who I am and it feels good to share that openly with anyone who’s interested in following along.
After having my son, though, everything shifted. I didn’t feel comfortable in anything. I didn’t truly start feeling like myself again until I lost some weight. For a long time, I defaulted to T-shirts because they were the only thing I felt like I could survive in. But with that came a deep, unsettling feeling of not knowing who I was anymore. There was no “me” in my clothes… just survival mode.
Eventually, I looked at my closet and realized how much it didn’t reflect me anymore. So I purged it. And when that wasn’t enough, I purged it again. I got rid of anything that didn’t make me feel good or that didn’t feel like me.
What was left were the bare bones.
And slowly, piece by piece, I started finding my style again. It’s more mature now. More comfortable. A little longer, a little baggier — but still deeply me, with all the soft, pretty pieces and all the dark, edgy touches living side by side.
And if I’m being honest… my closet is probably due for another purge. Growth never really stops.
Your Outfit Sets the Tone for Your Day
There’s a reason the “clean-girl aesthetic,” the “soft-girl era,” and all these trends come and go. People are searching for a feeling… not just a look.
The right outfit can make you feel:
- grounded
- cozy
- confident
- calm
- powerful
- playful
- romantic
- creative
So instead of dressing for the trend, dress for the feeling.
Ask yourself each morning: “How do I want to feel today?”
That one question can shift everything.
It Helps You Reconnect With Yourself
As moms, partners, employees, friends, we pour so much of ourselves into other people. It’s easy to wake up one day and realize you’re dressing out of convenience, habit, or whatever was clean.
But what if getting dressed was a way to come home to yourself?
Taking a few minutes to choose something that matches your personality, your mood, or your inner world is a quiet way of saying:
“I still exist outside of my responsibilities.”
And some days, that reminder is everything.
Confidence Isn’t Always Natural — But Clothes Can Help
Some days, confidence is nowhere to be found.
Some days, you just need a little boost.
Outfits can be anchors. The thing that makes you stand a little taller when anxiety tries to shrink you.
It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to make you feel like you:
- a favorite pair of jeans
- a soft oversized sweater
- winged eyeliner when you feel tired
- jewelry that makes you feel feminine
- boots that make you feel strong
- a color that lifts your mood
This isn’t vanity.
This is using what’s available to support your mental health.
Dressing for Yourself Helps You Break Free From Judgment
There’s freedom in getting dressed for yourself instead of:
- what’s “in”
- what other moms are wearing
- what feels safest
- what people expect
- what feels socially acceptable
When you stop dressing for approval, you start dressing for authenticity, and that changes everything.
You stop shrinking.
You stop toning yourself down.
You stop hiding parts of yourself that deserve to be visible.
And that freedom spills into the rest of your life.
How to Start Dressing for Yourself (Even If You Don’t Know Your Style Yet)
1. Notice what makes you feel something
Save photos, pay attention to colors, fabrics, and shapes that catch your eye.
2. Create a “Feel Good” section in your closet
Even just 3–5 pieces that always make you feel confident.
3. Let go of the clothes that drain you
If you constantly tug on it, hide in it, or avoid it then it’s not serving you anymore.
4. Dress for the moment you’re in, not the person you used to be
Give yourself permission to change. Your style is allowed to evolve.
5. Let comfort and confidence coexist
You don’t have to choose between them. You can have both.
Because at the end of the day…
Self-care isn’t always glamorous.
Sometimes it’s as simple as choosing an outfit that reminds you who you are.
Your clothes don’t define you, but they can support you. They can ground you, lift you, and help you feel like the version of yourself you want to show up as.
So tomorrow morning, when you’re getting ready, pick something that feels like you.
You deserve it.
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