This morning, I’m sitting at my desk with my coffee. My partner is right next to me on the couch, controller in hand, playing video games. The internet gave me trouble for a while (because it always seems to act up when I actually want to use it), but I finally got it fixed. I’ve got my work skills list pulled up, Facebook open in another tab, and now here I am—trying to write.
It’s a rare, child-free morning. My son is at grandma’s. The house is calm. Nothing urgent is pulling at me. On paper, this should feel perfect.
But instead, I feel discontent.
Why do I always feel like I should be doing something different?
When “Me Time” Doesn’t Feel Right
It doesn’t matter if it’s morning coffee at my desk or a quiet evening to myself—I always get this unsettled feeling. Like I’m being lazy. Like I’m not choosing the right thing to do with my time.
Even when I’m doing something I love, like writing, the little voice shows up:
You should be doing more. You should be doing something else.
It’s like my brain doesn’t know how to trust stillness.
The Guilt of Existing
On top of that, I start spinning stories in my head. That people are annoyed with me. That I’m letting someone down. That even sitting here next to my partner, I should somehow be more “productive.”
No one is actually saying this to me—but it feels real. It feels heavy.
The Gentle Reminders I Give Myself
When those thoughts creep in, I try to remind myself:
- I am allowed to exist in my space.
- I am blessed with so many things in life.
- The worry is really unnecessary.
- The “mess” in the house will always be there—whether I cleaned it 5 minutes ago or 3 hours ago.
- Life is about give and take.
I don’t need everything to be perfect before I can allow myself to rest. If I wait for perfection, I’ll never stop moving.
Letting Enough Be Enough
So today, I’m reminding myself—and maybe you too—that it’s okay to pause. To sit with coffee. To write. To rest next to the people you love without needing to earn it.
The guilt may still come, but I don’t have to let it control me. Because at the end of the day, I am enough. And so are you.
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