Right now, I feel like I’m caught in a thick cloud of thought. Not quite stuck, not quite moving — just hovering in that uncomfortable space where burnout and uncertainty meet. My mind keeps circling the same questions:

What do I want to step forward into?
That feels right, and will work?
What can I do that actually supports my family — and myself — the way we need?

I keep weighing options. Dreams. Realities. Responsibilities. And while that might sound proactive, it’s honestly exhausting. Mentally, I’m spinning. Spiritually, I’m drained. Physically, I’m just tired.

And yet… I love my life. I love my family more than anything. I’m proud of my heart and the way I show up for the people I love. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t burnt out from the hustle, the hamster wheel, and the never-ending mental load.

There’s also this ache — a knowing — that I’m capable of more. But I don’t know what “more” even means yet. And that’s where the inner tug-of-war begins.

Here’s what complicates it all: I love my job. I really, truly do. Working with kids fills me up. It brings me joy, laughter, growth, and a sense of purpose I don’t find anywhere else. I don’t want to give that up. I just wish the work that brings me so much meaning could also support me financially — in the way my family needs right now.

But wishing doesn’t change the numbers. And that’s where the tension lives.

What I Know for Sure:

• I need to make more money.
• I need to find a path that’s mine.
• I want to do something that feels aligned — not just something that checks boxes or pays bills.

Because yes, the bills matter (God, do they). But I matter too. My family matters. My well-being matters.

I don’t want to keep surviving life. I want to live it.

And I know this: I love creativity. I love creating, learning, teaching, and growing. I feel most alive when I’m doing those things. That’s where the light comes in — and where I feel most like myself. I want more of that. I want to build a creative life that feels aligned, and share it with others.

So maybe this isn’t a blog post about solutions. Maybe this is just me naming the burnout, naming the desire for more, naming the fact that I’m trying. Even in the fog. Even when I feel lost.

If You’re In It Too…

This is me journaling into the void — or maybe to someone who gets it. Someone who’s been there. If that’s you, I’d love to hear from you.

Sometimes, just knowing you’re not alone makes all the difference.

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Related Posts You Might Like:

• Grieving Unmet Expectations and Learning to Keep Going
• Letting Go: Embracing Harmony Over Judgment
• Your Internet Pen Pal: A Cozy, Creative Newsletter

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