I’m not sure how I got here at 35—someone who’s been emotionally numb for so long. If you had asked me 10 years ago about making life goals, I would have shrugged and told you I didn’t make them. Because if you don’t make goals, you can’t fail at them, right? That mindset was a way of protecting myself, of keeping things safe.

Boy, has that girl learned a lot.

Now, at 35, after having a child at freshly 31, I’m not the same person I was before. That girl was so young, so lost, so naive. She wasn’t aware of what it really meant to invest in herself. It’s been a journey—one full of challenges, self-discovery, and honestly, a lot of unlearning. I’ve had to untangle old beliefs and ways of thinking, ones that no longer serve me. But now, I see that if I want to feel truly happy, fulfilled, and at peace with myself, I have to invest in me.

For a long time, I thought self-investment was selfish or unnecessary. But now, I see it for what it really is—essential.Because the more you pour into yourself, the more you have to give to the people and the life you love. If I don’t take care of myself first, I can’t show up as the best version of myself for anyone else.

Do I know what I’m doing? Absolutely not. But I’m trying. And honestly, isn’t that what it takes? Just an attempt at something—anything, really.

I’m a Sims girly through and through. I’ve spent way too many hours playing that game, and honestly, it’s been a fun little escape. But recently, I had to ask myself something: While this game brings me joy, is it actually doing anything for me? Is it adding to my life in any meaningful way, or is it just… kind of mind-rotting?

I already knew the answer.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m still going to play The Sims from time to time (because duh), but I’ve been trying to be more intentional with how I spend my time. Whether it’s taking care of myself through self-care, processing my thoughts by writing this blog, or just making an effort to absorb something instead of passively consuming, I want to feed my brain rather than rot it. I want to give my attention to things that make me grow and develop as a person, rather than wasting time on things that leave me feeling drained or stagnant.

I can’t seem to stick to a damn hobby. It’s been a real struggle for me. Maybe I just haven’t found the right one. Maybe it’s me. I don’t know.

Growing up, I didn’t really see anyone around me truly engaging in personal hobbies. My mom worked long hours, morning until night, and didn’t have the time or energy to invest in herself. So I didn’t learn early on how to make space for personal interests outside of work and responsibilities. It’s something I’ve had to teach myself through observation, trial, and a whole lot of self-discovery. I can’t blame her, though. And honestly, I’m 35… shouldn’t I have this shit figured out by now? Then again, what does “having it figured out” even mean?

Lately, I’ve been trying. Really trying. I started this blog, and it’s been such a fulfilling creative outlet. It’s helped me channel my thoughts and creativity into something that feels meaningful. And I’ve been craving a new hobby—something that challenges me, excites me, and feels mine. Something that’s not just for health or fitness, but something that fills my soul and helps me reconnect with a part of myself that has been buried for a while.

I haven’t signed up yet, but I’ve been really interested in learning silks. As a former gymnast and current coach, I’ve always loved movement and workouts that don’t involve just lifting weights (even though I recently went back to the gym—and boy, does that feel good). But I want something more creative, something that isn’t just about being healthy but about expressing myself and feeling free in my body.

The only thing holding me back? Time and money.

Trying to navigate hobbies as an adult is hard. Between work, family, responsibilities, and life in general, carving out time for something new just feels impossible sometimes. And then there’s the cost—silks isn’t exactly a cheap hobby. Classes, gear, and space can add up quickly. So, I’ve had to take a hard look at my spending and figure out where I can make adjustments. One of the biggest things? Cutting back on eating out. It’s so easy to indulge in convenience, but if I can prepare my food at home instead, I can put that money toward something that genuinely adds value to my life—like a new hobby or experience that will help me grow.

That being said… I’m not perfect. These are attempts at this point. Some days I still grab takeout because I just can’t that day. Some weeks, I don’t have the energy to think about adding something new to my plate. And that’s okay. I’m just trying to make small, intentional choices that add up over time. Progress isn’t linear. It’s about making those small, sustainable changes and being patient with myself along the way.

Another area I’ve been investing in? Conversations. I’ve been working on my social skills for a hot minute—about two years now. Through a mix of therapy, medication, and a lot of personal effort, I’ve been slowly chipping away at the anxiety that’s always made conversation feel so damn uncomfortable. I’ve always been more of an observer than a participant, and I think that’s because I’ve been really self-conscious. But I’ve started to realize that meaningful conversations help me connect with others and grow as a person. I’m trying to move beyond the anxiety and lean into those moments when I can engage, share, and listen.

I’ve also been prioritizing rest—without feeling like I need some grand excuse for it. If I’ve had a long day and want to sit down for a few minutes before tackling the next thing, that’s okay. Everything will still be there when I come back to it. I’ve had to remind myself that rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. In our fast-paced world, we often glorify constant hustle, but I’m learning that stepping back, taking a breath, and recharging is what keeps me going. (Unfortunately, the dishes don’t do themselves… but sometimes, the boyfriend does!)

Ways to Invest in Yourself

Investing in yourself doesn’t have to be complicated, and it certainly doesn’t require any drastic changes overnight. It’s all about making intentional choices, no matter how small, that prioritize your well-being, growth, and happiness. Here are some ways you can start investing in yourself today:

1. Prioritize your mental health: Whether it’s seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, or setting healthy boundaries, taking care of your mind is essential. Mental health impacts everything else in your life, so it’s important to give it the attention it deserves.
2. Find a hobby (or rediscover one): Hobbies can provide a creative outlet, help you unwind, and give you something to look forward to. If you can’t commit to something new, start small and see where it takes you. The point is to have something for you, outside of your daily responsibilities.
3. Commit to learning: Whether it’s picking up a new skill, reading a book, or taking an online class, investing in your knowledge and abilities can help you grow as a person and feel more confident in yourself. Learning doesn’t have to stop after school; it’s a lifelong journey.
4. Take care of your body: This isn’t just about working out (though that’s important too); it’s about nourishing yourself with healthy food, getting enough rest, and making sure your body gets the movement and care it needs.
5. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Forgive yourself for mistakes, and be gentle with yourself as you work through challenges. Self-compassion is key to building a positive relationship with yourself.
6. Invest in relationships that nourish you: Surround yourself with people who support, encourage, and challenge you in a positive way. Nurturing meaningful relationships can enhance your happiness and provide you with the emotional support you need to grow.

Conclusion: Your Investment is Worth It

Investing in yourself isn’t always easy, and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight. But the journey toward self-investment is one of the most rewarding paths you can take. It’s about making intentional decisions, even small ones, that prioritize your well-being, growth, and happiness.

I’m still navigating this journey, figuring out what works for me, and learning from my missteps along the way. I’m not perfect, and I’ll never claim to have it all figured out. But I’ve learned that every step, no matter how small, counts. Taking time for yourself, embracing your hobbies, caring for your mental health, and practicing self-compassion are all investments that pay off in ways you can’t always see right away—but trust me, they do.

So, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Where do I start?”—start small. Choose one thing, even if it’s just a few minutes each day to invest in something that brings you joy or peace. It might not feel like much at first, but over time, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come.

The best part of investing in yourself? You’re building a life you don’t need to escape from. It’s one where you’re more in tune with your needs, more grounded in who you are, and more open to what’s ahead. And honestly, that’s a life worth living.